(to the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner)

Oh, say can’t you see by this dawn’s squirrelly light

How so proudly we bailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?

Our broad gripes and white scars threw the querulous fight,

As the spam darts we watched were so boorishly streaming?

And the POTUS’s red glare, F-bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that a gag was not there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled blather yet rave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the crave?

Off our shores, dimly seen by the mysterious Veep,

Where the foe’s naughty hosts, in dread silence reposes,

While the Russians with ease, o’er our powers creep,

POTUS fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses.

Now we’re catching the steam from the morning’s first scheme,

In full glory reflecting how malign is his dream:

‘Tis bizarre mangled blather!  Oh long may we stave

Off the bland old decrees and the foam of that knave!

And where is that man who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,

Our homes and our country should suffer no more!

More bodies wash in with the foul sea’s pollution.

No refuge to save the young and the frail

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the jail.

And the czar’s mangled blather with fresh dung does rave

In the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! this will be ever, unless we all stand

Between our belov’d homes and war’s desolation!

Bless the victory of peace, on forgiv’n, restored land

Not money and power that sever an unequal nation.

Then change it we must, for our cause it is just,

Then choose for our motto, “No fraud do we trust.”

And the czars’ mangled blather in a bumph-like wave

Ebbs from the land of the free and the home of the brave!